騎劫英門

讀《後殖民誌》「小人者，巧言令色者也」一篇。黃碧雲謂百年前帝英打開中國大門，強行經商，國人始用野雞英文，成一華洋雜處之風貌。有一番鬼要喝牛奶的故事，抄幾句於此︰

「……That fan-kwei (番鬼) talkee (說), “You no can makee so-fashion (不知何解), Catchee milk beong your pidgin (找牛奶是你的事情). You savvy (知道)you catchee one piecee cow makee milk (你拿一牛擠牛奶), hab got one dog look-see he (一隻狗看牛), one piecee woman take careum (一個女人看守). What no can do?” Compladore he too muchee fliten, he cly out one piecee sing-song (管家好害怕，就哭了出來，哭了一首歌).

That cow had die-lo (牛已經死囉), That dog had wailo (狗已經走囉), that woman catchee chilo (女人有孩子囉) --- How can catchee milk? (怎樣弄牛奶？)」(p.72)

看罷大驚，此豈非吾輩廿一世紀操之純熟的icq英文？﹗
順手從打開著的icq對話匣抄來幾句︰

例句(1) let me see see sin (先) and think think la
例句(2) I duno u duno wor
例句(3) soly soly drink tea drink tea :p
例句(4) choy! U ghost-horse la u
例句(5) shit! she's really a fucking 8-paul!

電腦屏幕一邊開著Email介面，打著句句斟酌文法的formal English，左改右改；屏幕另一邊開著icq，說著上面抄錄的icq英文，得心應手，爽﹗

我的腦袋到底在用何種語言、何種語言結構思考─哩？